


We Wish You A Merry Christmas

by Wind_Ryder



Series: Tumblr Fics [24]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Deception, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 20:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5469377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wind_Ryder/pseuds/Wind_Ryder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Isaac Murphy falls on the ice, he hoped someone might be able to help him get in his apartment. He didn't think that it was going Steve Rogers to do it. He also didn't think that he was going to feel so much guilt. </p><p>The thing was. Steve was a genuinely good person. And Murphy hated lying to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Wish You A Merry Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lauralot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauralot/gifts).



> A Christmas gift for Lauralot. Thank you so much for all your kind words this year!

Isaac slipped on the ice outside of his apartment. He hit the ground hard, hip smashing against the stairs. His hand reached up to try to catch himself, but the sudden drop made it impossible. He pulled his arm instead. Pain swiveled about his side. He lay, sprawled against the bottom four steps, and he closed his eyes. 

 

Not prone to needless curses, Isaac couldn’t help the one that slipped from his tongue. _Shit_. He glanced desperately towards his groceries. They’d spilled out from the canvas bags he’d dropped in the fall. Nothing broke, _thank God,_ but a few items tumbled down the sidewalk. He felt tears push to his eyes. His hip _really_ hurt. 

 

Leaning heavily on the railing, Isaac pulled himself upright. He gasped, hissing and huffing, as he managed to get his feet under him. Ice coated the street from the subway to his apartment. He’d managed to get to the final stretch and then he’d lost it. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Isaac carefully took one step away from the railing. Towards a can of cat food that lodged itself in the cracks of the sidewalk. The ground felt sturdy beneath his footfall. He released the railing. 

 

_Slip!_

 

Down he went, ass over tea-kettle. There went his hip again. This time, the pain was unforgettable. It screamed up his spinal chord, took hold of his brainstem, shook it _violently_ , and insisted it be looked at. 

 

Isaac sat very still. Okay. Something might be broken. 

 

Tears slipped down his cheeks unbidden, and Isaac shivered against the bitter winter chill. He tried to pull himself up again, but it seemed impossible. The pain stabbed too violently, and the ice created a challenge he didn’t know how to face. 

 

Isaac shivered. He looked up and down the street. No one around. He chose this apartment because the block leaned to the silent side of things. He liked the quiet. He liked the peacefulness of it. 

 

Fairy lights draped around windows, snow fluttered about idyllically, and all would be well…if he hadn’t been incapable of standing. 

 

Patting his pockets, he briefly considered calling for an ambulance. No. That seemed excessive. He didn’t like ambulances all that much. And frankly— he’d be fine with a little rest. He just needed to get inside. Inside, and sleep, and that’d be good…

 

He scrolled through the names of people from work. Fired off a few texts, tentatively seeing what their status was. 

 

_Hey, are you busy?_ he asked his team. 

 

If his phone could be believed, Rumlow read the message, but didn’t respond.  

 

Westfahl told him: _Way too busy for you._

 

Anders insisted: _I have better things to do then worry about you and your cats._

 

No one else received the notice. 

 

Biting his lip, Isaac tried to block out the cold. He tried to stand up again.

 

He fell abruptly to the ground. 

 

Panic rose up within him, and Isaac once more returned to his phone. He sent out a group text to everyone on his contact list. _I need a favor,_ he wrote. This time, no one even bothered with the courtesy response. They retained radio silence. 

 

Resigned to the cold, Isaac struggled to sit up at least. The pain in his hip burned hotter than strictly necessary. The agony spiraling about him. With each passing moment, he considered that the ambulance might not be such a bad idea - despite his uncertainty. 

 

He shook his head. _Someone_ would come eventually. Even if it took a while. It’s not like he was the only person on the street. Someone would come. Sooner or later. He just needed to wait it out. 

 

Another winter chill cut through the air. His nose froze on impact. He shivered and sneezed. 

 

His phone rang. 

 

Picking it up quickly, he didn’t know what to expect. He hadn’t looked at who was calling. “…Murphy?” Captain Steve Rogers asked him. 

 

Isaac flushed. An Ambulance might be preferable to appearing so weak and careless in front of Captain America. “Um. Captain. Um.”

 

“You needed something?” Rogers pressed. 

 

Isaac floundered. He pressed a hand on the sidewalk and tried to sit up straighter. An unconscious movement that occurred naturally whenever Rogers wandered by. Always back straight. Head up. Like a proper soldier. 

 

Except. The movement pulled at his hip. He gasped in pain, and the sound carried across to Captain Rogers’ perfect ears. “Are you all right?” Isaac could hear him say something to someone else — a goodbye? Then he heard the sound of a door close. “Where are you?”

 

In for a penny, in for a pound. “Home,” Isaac managed, before he could stop himself. “I fell.” 

 

Rogers released an almost disgruntled sound. Isaac wanted to apologize, wanted to tell him that the injury didn’t seem to be minor. He never got a chance. “I’m on my way.” The Captain’s voice came in - No Nonsense. Authoritative. Isaac babbled something, and the line clicked out. 

 

Ten minutes later, there he was. 

 

Captain America. 

 

Crouching over Isaac with too big eyes. Concern evident. He leaned down, scooped up the traitorous can of cat food Isaac had attempted to rescue earlier. Then, he gathered all of Isaac’s groceries. Looping bag handles on one arm. He adjusted himself carefully, found his footing, and lifted Isaac up to his feet. Supporting him effortlessly the whole time. 

 

Isaac moaned, leg searing angrily in response. Rogers gave a careful adjustment, then lifted Isaac bridal style. Steve hoisted Isaac into his arms and brought up into his apartment without so much as a word of protest. Or a sign of discomfort. Isaac floundered for keys, directing the Captain to his door. Then through it.

 

Rogers talked softly the whole time, kind and gentle. “Are you okay? How ya feeling? You want me to give you a lift to the ER? Where to now? Sorry, almost done.” Isaac always knew Rogers possessed a heart of gold between his ribs. Now, he could see it first hand. 

 

He still couldn’t fathom that Captain America came to help him like this. 

 

It bordered on the unbelievable. 

 

But once inside Isaac’s apartment, Rogers gently placed Isaac on the couch. He found some pain pills for Isaac in the bathroom. He set about putting Isaac’s groceries away. He wandered from place to place without a word of discontent. 

 

Issac fidgeted, occasionally giving directions as Steve mosey’d about the kitchen. Isaac felt his face grow hot. He pulled at the zipper of his coat. Struggled to get it off at the very least. Rumlow was going to make fun of him for this. And Rollins. And Westfahl. 

 

Something batted up against his leg, and Isaac glanced down. Julie. 

 

_Julie!_

 

“Captain Rogers there might be—”

 

Steve yelped. Isaac scrambled, struggling to his feet. His efforts were in vain. His leg fell out from under him and he crashed back onto the couch. Desperately looking up, he stared in dumb horror as his two kittens took turns scaling Steve like a Christmas Tree. They scrambled up and down his back and chest, avoiding his grabbing hands and mewling at the new game. 

 

Steve kept reaching for them, missing, and hissing as their tiny nails dug into his skin. Isaac could do nothing but sit there and watch. Horrified. And. Well. _Slightly_ amused? 

 

Mostly horrified. 

 

If Rumlow was going to make fun of him before, he was definitely going to do it now. 

 

Steve finally caught Winter in one hand, then Brock in the other. Both kittens mewled unhappily as their game ended, and stared up at Steve with large pleading eyes. Julie hopped up onto Isaac’s lap in the meanwhile, and he hissed as she pressed down on a fresh bruise. 

 

Curious meows and mewls filled the apartment. The ruckus would have attracted the others. Isaac’s face burned hotter than ever before as he looked about for his other feline friends. After a few moments of awestruck silence, Steve wandered over from the kitchen. He held the kittens in his arms, curling them close to his body and no longer squeezing them like tubes of ketchup. 

 

Winter snuggled his nose into Steve’s left arm pit. Bock hung his front paws over Steve’s arm, his back paws kicking from where they hung down. Steve smiled fondly at the kittens as he approached Isaac. “Well, I think I found your roommates. What’re their names?” 

 

The ground should just swallow Isaac whole. It’d be so much more preferable to this. Isaac bit his lip. “Um. The. Um. White one? That’s Winter. He’s deaf. Um. And the. um. Siamese. That’s Brock.” 

 

For a moment, Steve just stared. Then, his lips twitched. The expression took over his entire face. His eyes crinkled at the corners. He laughed. Steve laughed long and hard. The kittens wiggled about in his arms and Steve kept laughing. He gently placed them both down, before rubbing at his eyes with his pointer finger. 

 

The blush Isaac had been working on suddenly became too much. Like Rudolph’s nose, Isaac’s face glowed red. 

 

“He’s certainly got Rumlow’s _bite_ down. And the nails. Lord above.” Steve continued giggling. Like a _school_ kid. “What’s this one’s name?” he asked, politely gesturing to the ragdoll sitting in Isaac’s lap. 

 

Isaac shifted her carefully, nudging her into a more comfortable position. “Julie?” he mumbled awkwardly. “Um. I have. Um. a couple tabbys. Um. Around here somewhere. And a sphinx.”

 

“Do you always name them after people you know?” Isaac floundered. Panic rose in his chest. Steve continued without pause, hardly noticing the reaction. “Well, I mean. Winter’s a season. But, Brock and Julie?” 

 

The panic didn’t recede in the slightest. Especially not when Winter stared up at Steve with big blue eyes and immediately went to climbing up Steve’s leg. And Captain America just smiled. He smiled and wrapped his hands around the little kitten, folding them gently about the tiny limbs. He gently rubbed his thumb over the kitten’s brow. Fondness coating his features.

 

Familiarity steadied Steve’s hands. He’d held a kitten before. Didn’t seem to mind the sharp claws or the curious teething. Just shifted his hands left and right and continued petting Winter’s fuzzy white head. 

 

Isaac never thought of Steve as a pet person. “You’ve owned a cat?” 

 

No response. Isaac grimaced. He hadn’t meant to cause offense. Steve’s head curled down closer to the kitten. Stroking the fur with confident strokes. Eventually, though, he shook his head. 

 

“There used to be strays out back of our old apartment. Never had any money for that kinda thing, though. Not really. And…definitely not enough food to share.” Steve sat down on the floor. Crossed his legs under him and didn’t mind in the least when Brock joined Winter in fighting for his attention. “But we kept the neighbor kids from bein’ mean to ‘em. Sometimes when it rained we let ‘em in. Nothin’ permanent.” 

 

His expression turned wistful. Remembering some long lost thing no one else could recall. “There were a few cats during the war. Damn good mousers. They roamed the main office in London. Bucky—” Steve’s mouth snapped shut.

 

Tension filled the room. The Captain’s hands paused over Winter’s head. When the kitten nudged him, he didn’t respond. Just kept holding it close. 

 

_Grief_. Steve was filled with it. He seemed utterly heartbroken. Isaac bit his lip hard enough it hurt. He hadn’t expected the sudden shift, and he didn't know how to make it better. He wanted it to be better. Somehow. 

 

Only twenty-seven miles away, the Winter Soldier slept in cryostasis. Steve’s long lost friend slept less than thirty-miles north. And in Steve’s lap, the Soldier’s namesake curled against Steve’s chest. 

 

“Bucky kept bringing them back,” Steve forced the words out. The sounded grated. Filled with endless waves of sadness. “He’d find them. I don’t know where. He’d find them while we were in the field. And he’d tuck them up in his pack and carry them out. Wasn’t just cats. Dogs. Rabbits. Found a little velveteen bunny once. Cute little thing. He gave it to a French girl on our way through town. Never saw a kid happier kid..."

 

“He sounds nice.” Isaac couldn’t imagine the Winter Soldier acting like that. It didn’t seem like he had it in him anymore. Maybe the Soldier would like to have a pet? Or an animal to cuddle with. Maybe it’d make him happy! With how dedicated the Soldier was to his missions, Isaac imagined he’d be very good at animal care if instructed properly. 

 

The clock ticked loudly on the wall. Steve nodded in time with it. Memories still holding him captive. Isaac tugged on his zipper again, and finally pulled his jacket open. The movement caught Steve’s attention and he mumbled something under his breath. 

 

Gently batting the cats out of the way, he helped Isaac out of his jacket. Then he hung it on the hook by the door. “Medicine?” he asked politely. Isaac directed him to the cabinet under his sink, and Steve went after it. 

 

When he returned, he passed Isaac a glass of water and a couple of advil. Then, he asked to check the injury. Isaac squirmed uncomfortably as Steve poked and prodded at it. “Not broken,” Steve declared, though. “But I bet you’ll hurt for a while. There’s a lot of fluid there.” 

 

The news didn’t inspire confidence. Isaac grimaced and glanced about the apartment. Christmas was almost here and nothing was going to be done in time. Not one thing. 

 

As if he could read Isaac’s distress, Steve’s face suddenly became militant. “I can take help!” He looked so earnest, Isaac found himself nodding. He had no idea what he was agreeing to. 

_____________

 

Turns out, Steve felt comfortable agreeing to just about anything. He hung garland about the house. Decorated Isaac’s tree. Fed the cats. Renewed Isaac’s pain pills, made a potato soup that had Isaac’s mouth watering at the smell alone. Vegan approved too! 

 

Steve was a good person. A genuinely good person. While he worked, he talked to Isaac about the cats. About what it meant to be a vegan, about how Isaac joined SHIELD. He seemed willing to do whatever Isaac wanted, and he kept busy the whole while. Never once stopping or slowing down. 

 

Through it all, whenever he uncovered a cat he spent a few minutes petting him or her politely. When he stumbled across Steve the Cat, yellow, tabby, and tailess, Isaac worried he’d offended the Captain. Instead, Steve smiled fondly, stroked it despite Steve the Cat’s surly behavior, and didn’t flinch when claws scratched open the skin on the back of his hand. 

 

He stared at his hand, watching as the blood welled up, then dissipated. Watched as the cut healed before his eyes. Isaac couldn’t stop watching either. Fascinated. “You don’t have to stay,” Isaac murmured quietly. “You can go home. I’m all right now.” 

 

Steve looked up at him. Big eyes wide and pleading. If Rumlow were here, Isaac knew he’d tell Isaac to take advantage. To tell Steve to stay. To ply him for useful information and data. He’d instruct Isaac to do everything he can to get _whatever_ he can out of Steve. For Hydra. 

 

“I’m all right,” Isaac murmured. “You can go.” 

 

“I can stay,” Steve rushed to say. His hands shifted to adjust the garland. Eager to keep in motion. 

 

“I think I’m just going to go to sleep,” Isaac told him. “I’ll be fine.” Steve’s shoulders sagged. He nodded. “I’ve got plans too. So…” Isaac didn’t have plans. But the words made Steve recoil. He dropped the garland. 

 

“Sure. Yeah. of course. Do you need help? Before I…” he waved his hand around. “Are you going to be…”

 

“I’ll be fine.” Isaac just didn’t like lying. He didn’t like keeping information away from someone being so genuine. He didn’t like pretending.

 

But Rumlow was right. Steve wasn’t ready to know yet. Not about Hydra. Not about how much good they were going to do. He hoped one day he could tell Steve everything. Tell him, and make him proud. Make it up to him for turning him away.

 

Steve nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Call if you need anything,” he requested. Isaac promised he would. Shuffling quietly out the door, Steve closed it behind him. Isaac squeezed his eyes shut. 

 

He opened to the sound of mewling, and a cat banging on a door. Squinting down at the bottom, Isaac felt tears press against his eyes. Winter sat with his paws under the door. Smacking it against the lock as hard as his little kitten paws could manage. Mewling the whole while. 

 

Trying to get back to Steve. 

 

From the floor above, Isaac heard music filter down from his neighbor’s apartment. 

 

_We wish you a merry christmas! We wish you a merry christmas. We wish you a merry christmas._

 

Winter cried out mournfully. 

 

_And a happy new year!_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to prompt me at: http://www.falcon-fox-and-coyote.tumblr.com


End file.
